If you are one of my 10 regular readers, waves, then you may have noticed that I have been absent lately, from my blog, site, twitter, online forums, etc. Long story short, 1 year ago I quit my stressful job to get a grip on my health and figure out my life. HA! On one level that worked, the anxiety/stress induced physical symptoms have all gone, no more “Am I having a heart attack?” moments. On the other hand, not having a job for a year has brought about its own brand of stress… mostly depression.

I hadn’t tested my blood sugar in six months, my one drink a month was turning into one a week, I stopped caring if I ate gluten-free carbs, wasn’t tracking my food logs or weight… I am sure you can fill in how well that was working out for me. Things I had once enjoyed, like my pet-project Bytes for Health, I stopped caring about or didn’t have the energy to bother with. Boo hoo, poor me and all that jazz.

The other week someone from my online diabetes forum reached out to me, sharing her own troubles with depression and sticking to the whole “caring about dying from diabetes” deal that usually motivates me but lately hadn’t. If you are reading this, you know who you are and thank you. While she didn’t give me a very well-deserved kick in the pants, she did inspire me to try to get a handle on things again. And that’s where things have started picking up!

I started by taking 5-HTP, 50 mg between meals. Maybe I’ll write a post about it later, in short it is a serotonin precursor. Since carbs lately were improving my mood substantially, and carbs raise serotonin, it seemed worth a shot. I also reordered my old favorite, GABA, to help with anxiety. “The internet” suggested that taking it before bed could help with my insomnia and …. I think it is actually helping. Last night was the third night in a row where I slept (most) of the night through.

Maybe I am jinxing myself by with my silly title, but I feel like I am making progress. I finally hauled my cookies back to the doctor to get a prescription for test strips and am testing my blood glucose multiple times a day. I registered for a professional conference that should be a great learning experience (who knows maybe I’ll meet a future employer too). I even worked up the courage to make Oopsie Rolls (aka low-carb hamburger buns) for our Memorial Day cookout. Plus I am back to terrorizing the household with my off-key, goofy singing. The jury is still out on whether or not that is improvement. :)

Wish me luck in keeping hold of my rediscovered motivation!